Grace: It’s for offenders too!
Our society has a lot to say to the offended and wounded, but not enough to say to the offender who has wounded. Even in the church, it would seem that there are more sermons and books directed towards the heartbroken, but grace is scarcely ever extended to the heartbreaker. We hear a lot about the power of grace to heal the broken, but isn’t God’s grace powerful enough to heal the “breaker”?
Perhaps, our practice of selective grace occurs because we have lost sight of one important biblical truth: All humanity is broken! The offender is just as broken as the offended, and the wounds that have been inflicted by the offender are only an expression of this brokenness. The bottom line is this — the offender needs grace too!
To the offended:
I can just hear it now: It’s the rushing sound of revolt from the offended! I can hear you saying, “He doesn’t deserve it, he broke my heart”…”She doesn’t deserve it, she manipulated me.”… “They don’t deserve it, they abandoned me as a child”. I understand that for those who have been deeply hurt, it is easy to read an article like this and think, “He just doesn’t get it”. But oh wounded soul, I assure you that I feel your pain and understand your revolt. This article is not intended to minimize what has been done to you, but to set you along the path of peace and forgiveness. I want to remind you of something that we too easily forget when we are dealing with hurt: Grace is by definition a gift that nobody deserves. In other words, you’re right that they don’t deserve grace, but then who does?
To the offender:
As one who has been an offender, I know how graceless society can be. Perhaps your offense has cost you vital relationships with friends and family. Or maybe it’s gone on your record and no one will hire you. Perhaps, you’ve been made to believe that you’re worth nothing and everyone you love has deserted you.
In times like these, the temptation for us is to internalize the gracelessness from our society, and then project it onto God. In other words, we are tempted to doubt God’s grace, thinking ourselves beyond His forgiveness. This is a trick of the enemy to keep us trapped by the shackles of guilt (2 Corinthians 7:10, Revelation 12:9–10).
Contrary to the gracelessness of society, the word of God has a lot of good things to say to offenders. As a matter of fact, the gospel is the good news that on the cross, God imputed our many offences to Christ, and then gave us the gift of righteousness (Romans 5:16). Charles Spurgeon, reflecting on this glorious gospel, calls it a “sinner’s gospel”. It is good news that is not reserved for good people, but for those who acknowledge their sin and need for forgiveness.
The gospel is good news for men and women like Onesimus, who is the biblical portrait of an offender. Here is a man who stole from his master, Philemon, and ran away. He later came to faith in Christ through the ministry of Apostle Paul, who believed it was virtuous to send him back to his master (Philemon 13–14). The book of Philemon contains details of a letter that Apostle Paul wrote to this end. Though this letter was addressed to Philemon, it tells us a lot about Onesimus, and thus about grace for offenders. For all who have offended another like Onesimus, this book contains gospel words for your soul. We see in the book of Philemon that:
1. You are not useless
In verse 11 of Philemon, Paul writes, “Formerly he (Onesimus) was useless to you (Philemon), but now he has become useful both to you and to me”. It is no secret that offending others can lead to a sense of worthlessness. Remorse for our actions can develop into guilt, and guilt into a sense of condemnation, which can end in feelings of worthlessness. Satan, the accuser of the brethren, loves to capitalize on these feelings in order to fight our faith in God and convince us that we are useless (Revelation 12:9–10). But we have to realize that in Christ, we are useful. “If anyone is in Christ… the old has gone, the new is here” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Notice how Apostle Paul differentiates between Onesimus’ past and present life by means of the words “formerly” and “but now”. You have a new life in Christ and you are not useless.
2. You can have meaningful relationships
One of the temptations for offenders is to shy away from meaningful relationships for fear that we may hurt someone else. If this describes you, then let the example of Onesimus inspire you. Paul refers to him as his son (v.10), his heart (v. 12) and as a brother in the Lord (v.16). Paul tells Philemon, “I would have liked to keep him…” (v.13). Onesimus is proof that though you have hurt someone, you can still succeed in meaningful relationships. In fact, what you need is a good community of believers who can love you, correct you, and challenge you to grow. Don’t give into the enemy’s bait of isolation.
3. Your Debt has been paid
Paul wrote to Philemon, “If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me…I will pay it back” (18–19). Paul identified himself with Onesimus (v.17) and promised to take on his debt. These actions remind us of what Jesus did on our behalf. He identified himself with us in our sins, and paid the debt we owed to God. While we should pursue restitution and restoration with those we have offended, we also have to realize that we have been restored to the Father. And since all sin is ultimately against Him, the debt we owe has been paid in Christ (Psalm 51:4).
You can live free of the condemnation and guilt of your offenses, because they have been placed on Christ and been paid in full on the cross. There’s Grace for you too.
